Give me a break!

Learning to live a healthy lifestyle, give me a break! Who do I think I am kidding here. Not me that's for sure. I have learned some things that have stuck with me, I do know that if I don't exercise, I will not lose, and I also know that even if I exercise and eat right, I am not gonna lose this weight fast. My fat is cement, I struggle to lose even a pound, and it has been that way for years. I can walk 5 miles eat only my allotted points and still only lose one pound. To say that is frustrating is putting it mildly. I read blogs and talk to friends all the time that consistently lose 2-3 or 4 founds a week, but for me that is not to be. I know, I know one pound is not all that bad, but it is when you have LHLWADD... I have been doing some research lately about ADD and the symptoms:
"zoning out” without realizing it
"extreme distractibility"
"struggling to complete a goal, no matter what the prize"
"tendency to overlook the seriousness of the situation"
When it comes to other areas of my life, this is in no way fits me. When it comes to my Living Healthy and Losing Weight "LHLW" I have four out of four symptoms. :(
I really need to understand this and I really need to deal with it. Like now!

I have been reading a blog from Sean in Oklahoma for about a year, today these words he wrote kicked me in the gut. It is what I have always known, but can't make this choice and stick to it. All I can say is please God, let me choose this, help me choose this. I want this so bad!

The difference between this being a struggle and being an enjoyable road all the way---is completely between our ears. It is a friendship with food, an understanding---it's just living---simplifying the process...and realizing that we can do this in a most enjoyable way that will leave us wondering what the trouble was all of those years. The trouble is always what WE make it. The limitations, the rules, the frustrations---we choose it all...it's perspective. It's letting go of every excuse or rationalization that have always held us back. It's no longer being the "victim." It's choosing change before change chooses us. It's a very powerful idea. Empowering. It's deciding that this is too important to allow any emotion, circumstance, person, place, or thing steal it away from us. We deserve this freedom---it's ours if we choose to make it one of the most important things we've ever done. The importance level MUST be set that high, because if it isn't---it becomes too easy to just say..."oh well, we'll try again some other time." Make this the LAST TIME. Because if we don't---"someday" will come anyway---and changes will choose us---and if it's not on our terms, we're probably not going to like those changes. Choose the change you've always dreamed about. You're completely free to fly my friend!!!!!!!

I want to fly, I want to be happy when I fly, I want this to be as important to me as breathing, as being faithful to my husband, as being faithful to the God I serve.
Thank you Sean, for these words.... I will read them everyday until it becomes my truth, and I will make the choices I need to change my life forever.