I have been avoiding the scale as if it were the enemy, as if this piece of metal was going to expose me for the failure I have become. My clothes told me the truth, my pants were tight, my energy has been gone, but still I would look at that piece of metal and avoid it. One of my favorite sayings has always been " Fiddle-de-de I will think about this tomorrow". That hasn't worked for me in the past, and its not working for me now. You know its really hard, I'm not blaming anyone but it seems like when your resolve is shaken just a little, or when you start making bad choices everyone celebrates with you. Does that seem right, why don't my friends just grab the food out of my hands, why don't they yell at me and remind me that I worked to hard to give up now. I have to remind myself constantly that it is no one's responsibility but my own to make the right choices. No one has to tell me not to eat 2 boxes of chocolates in one sitting, I know that would make me sick. No one has to tell me that every day that I make these bad choices I am getting farther and farther from where I was a few months ago.
So..... I stepped on the scale, and since November, I have gained 8 pounds. I am really scared, but I don't know anything else to do but to just get back to the business of taking care of myself. Tomorrow, I am going to make the right choices, I am going to eat right, I am going to exercise, and I am going to get back to the good life.....yes it is the good life!